We know what we want to do but deep down it’s like being that frightened little kid, alone at night, who doesn’t want to check under their bed. We’re pretty sure there’s nothing to be afraid of but our imagination thinks up every wild story it can for why we should be deathly afraid.
That fear, whether we realize it or not, follows us into adulthood. We know what we WANT to do but our brain, which is trying so hard to protect us (from what, I really don’t know) is telling us not to. It’s telling us we can’t do that thing we want. It’s telling us there could be a boogy man or a Freddy Krueger and if we try then they’ll get us. It says, don’t bother, you’ll only be hurt. You’ll be disappointed. You’re safer just not doing anything.
For years, I lived that way. I didn’t want to peek under my bed because I was afraid of what was under there. I didn’t want to get hurt. I didn’t want to risk it. One day though, I mustered up the courage you pull back the covers and damned if I didn’t jump out my skin when I saw… me.
Yes, I was staring back at myself. This whole time I was afraid of myself. I was afraid of disappointing myself. I was afraid of not being deserving of the things I wanted. I was afraid that if i tried, I’d only be disappointing myself again. It wasn’t until I looked at myself that I realized how ridiculous I’d been that whole time!!
Why shouldn’t I work toward what I want? Why don’t I deserve this? What makes anyone else any better than me that they can do these things and I can’t? Damn it, how do I make this happen? What do I NEED TO DO TO MAKE THIS WORK?!?!
See the shift there?
It’s within you too…